Progress…..
It’s been a while since I wrote on this tumblr page. To be honest, it’s been a while since I wrote really any personal stuff. Lots of changes in the month of August, and I’m still gathering myself… keeping it allll the way real.
This feels like the first time in a long time that I’ve had any time to think. I. was. burned. out. Burned out on music, burned out on djing, dealing with serious shit, all that. just done. So, I took a break. For the last three weeks I’ve worked out regularly, spent hours practicing just one scratch or transition, sketched ideas, met with cool people, read my old poetry and fiction, and just relaxed. It’s been great. I’ve learned a lot about myself, and what I really want to do with my life. I’ve learned more about what I have, and what I need, and connected (in some cases re-connected) with many talented and inspiring people that I lost touch with (or never really knew). I listened to a full album without looking at a blackberry or twitter screen. and have seen almost every inning of every Sox game since August 1st. I gave up my car, updated my resume, and wrote my first cover letter in about 4 years. I let myself have ideas without pressure to act on them right away, to think without production, and started to see a world of opportunities that were getting lost in the tunnel vision of my desk, my office, my outlook, and a whole bunch of other shit that was wearing me out and wearing me down…
I found out what I loved so much about music, about Hip Hop, and about what I do. I learned that what I don’t love to do is sit at a desk all day and write about the new Mac Miller song (no diss to Mac Miller). What does interest me is engaging in an interview with Mac Miller, producing his concert in Chicago, and doing a Closed Session with him that tells his story through the process of his art (I’ve done all of those but the last one). What interests me is working on special projects with creative people, DJing for artists like GLC, working with a brand on a new marketing campaign, helping a young artist connect the dots, being in the studio with a group like LEP, and exploring licensing and growth opportunities for Closed Sessions… And now it’s just a matter of figuring out how to connect the dots myself and live the life I want to live.
I felt for the last year or so that I was holding myself back. I wasn’t giving anyone all of me, or really the real me. I think there’s many people out there, some that I see almost daily at a party or event, or in the studio, and they really don’t much about the real me or my passions. I’m excited to show them who I am, what I can do, and why I want to win. Maybe you’re reading this and you are one of those people. I hope so.
So from here, it’s day by day and the equally exciting and daunting tasks of putting everything together. searching and finding opportunities and figuring out my path. I want to build a life full of teaching (I teach the AEMMP class at Columbia starting 9/12), writing, record producing, and event coordinating. How it happens, I’m still working on. I have applied at a few larger publications, and hoping to hear back soon. I’m also constantly working on my resume and cover letters, hitting up people for recommendations and some advice. So far, many people have helped. and I bought some books.
I haven’t written like this in a long time, and it feels great. I hope you’re not too bored. I call this tumblr “Small Loose Leaf Sheets” after a quote from Mos Def from the song “Know That”. Mos starts the record:
“I’m trying to make a dollar out of what makes sense, add it up told my daddy I’d be a rich man, you never know when your fate’s gon’ switch hands, get today’s solid ground of yesterday’s quick sand, I was a young boy, who dreamed about being a big man, on small looseleaf sheets I sketched a big plan.”
That was me. And that’s why I’m here. And over the last few weeks I found that spark again, that passion, that enthusiasm, that young kid that believed any idea was possible. I have notebooks and notebooks of schemes, hopes, goals, some of them are now reality. I hope to sketch more, and share them here..
